DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it. 
WIRE [...]

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 The first surgeon, from New York , says, “I like to see accountants on
my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is
numbered…”
The second, from Chicago , responds, “Yeah, but you should try
electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.”
The third surgeon, from Dallas , says, “No, I really think librarians
are the best, everything [...]

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1.  Of course I look familiar. I was here just last week cleaning your carpets, painting your shutters, or delivering your new refrigerator.
2. Hey, thanks for letting me use the bathroom when I was working in your yard last week. While I was in there, I unlatched the back window to make my return a [...]

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 I checked this out on Snopes and it’s for real!
              THESE REALLY WORK!!
              AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES:
 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD [...]

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