Perks Of Being Over The Hill
•There is nothing left anymore to learn the hard way.
•Things that you buy now won’t wear out.
•Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
•You no longer think of the speed limit as a challenge.
•Your investment in health insurance is finally paying off.
•You [...]

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Today’s global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the “Twelve Days of Christmas” subsidiary:
The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by [...]

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An Announcement From Santa
I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer be able to serve Southern United States on Christmas Eve. Due to the overwhelming current population of the earth, my contract was renegotiated by North American Fairies and Elves Local 209.
I now serve only certain areas of Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, [...]

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Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.
He sank to the bottom [...]

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