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These classifieds actually ran in a Minneapolis newspaper – a smile for your day… 

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER . 
8-years old. Hateful little bastard. Bites! 

FREE PUPPIES:
 
1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor’s dog. 

FREE PUPPIES..
 
Mother, AKC German Shepherd. 
Father, Super Dog..able to leap tall fences in a single bound. 

FOUND DIRTY WHITE DOG.
 
Looks like a rat. Been out a while. 
Better be a big reward. 

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
 
Also 1 gay bull for sale. 

NORDIC TRACK
 
$300 Hardly used, call Chubby. 

GEORGIA PEACHES
 
California grown – 89 cents/lb. 

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
 
Must sell washer and dryer $300. 

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
 
Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie. 

And the best one?: 

FOR SALE BY OWNER: 
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica, 45 volumes.. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed, Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

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