1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model:
 ”I wan’ all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan’ all the kids to copulate me.”
2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season:
 ”I want to rush for 1,000 or [...]

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A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. ‘Have you ever done anything of particular merit?’ St. Peter asked.
‘Well, I can think of one thing,’ the cowboy offered.
‘On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed [...]

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Dear Abby , 
    A couple of women moved in across the hall from me.  One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties.  These two women go everywhere together, and I’ve never seen a man go into or leave their apartment.  Do you think they could be [...]

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Funniest Joke
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services.
He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?”. The operator says “Calm down. I can help.
First, let’s make sure [...]

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