**********     
Wife :            Do you want dinner?
Husband :      Sure, what are my choices?
Wife :            Yes and no.     

            **********   

Wife:       You always carry my photo in your briefcase to the office.  Why?
Husband: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the  problem disappears.
Wife:       You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Husband: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, ‘What other problem can there be greater than this one?’  

             **********     

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?’  He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor.’   

              **********   

The Silent Fart   

An elderly couple was attending church services. About halfway through, she leaned over and whispered To her husband, ‘I just let out a long silent fart. What Do you think I should do?’
He replied, ‘Put a new battery in your hearing aid.’