~Your kids are becoming you….and you don’t like them
….but your grandchildren are perfect!
~Going out is good.
Coming home is better!
When people say you look “Great”…
they add “for your age!”
~When you needed the discount you paid full price.
Now you get discounts on everything…
movies, hotels, flights.
~You forget names … but it’s OK
because other people forgot
they even knew you!!!
~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose
is now 15 and you have a better chance
of losing your keys than the 15 pounds.
~Your husband is counting on you
to remember things you don’t remember.
~The things you cared to do,
you don’t care to do,
but you care that you
don’t care to do them anymore..
~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair
with the TV blaring than he does in bed.
It’s called his “pre-sleep”.
~Remember when your mother said
“Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident”?
Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!
~You used to say,
“I hope my kids GET married …
Now, “I hope they STAY married!”
~You miss the days when everything worked
with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
~You use more 4 letter words…
“what?”…”when?”???
~Now that you can afford
expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.
~Your husband has a night out with the guys
but he’s home by 9:00 P.M …next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve read it.
~Everybody whispers.
~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet….
2 of which you will never wear.
~But old is good in some things:
old songs
old movies
And best of all OLD FRIENDS!!
