January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels. Helllloooo!!! Bottles won’t fit in typewriter!
March
Got really excited….. finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months…. box said “2-4 years!”
April
Trapped on an escalator for hours….. power went out!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid….. wrong instructions…. 8 cups of water won’t [...]

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A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into [...]

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A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several years. One night, during a rendezvous, she confided in him she was pregnant.
Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she [...]

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WARNING: POLITICAL HUMOR BELOW
Are you a Democrat, Republican or Southerner? Here is a little test that will help you decide:
SCENARIO:
You’re walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities and some seemingly unintelligible things [...]

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