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Al Qaeda Terrorist Goes to Heaven
March 18th, 2010 at 6:46pm

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Terrorist leader Abu al-Zarqawi died and George Washington met him at the Pearly Gates.

George reached back like a pimp, slapped him across the face, and yelled, “How dare you try to destroy the nation I helped conceive!”

animal011_tnPatrick Henry approached, drew back his fist, punched him in the nose, and shouted, “You wanted to end our liberties but you failed!”

James Madison followed, kicked him in the groin, and said, “This is why I allowed our government to provide for the common defense!”

Thomas Jefferson then beat al-Zarqawi with a long cane and snarled, “It was Evil men like you who inspired me to write the Declaration of Independence!”

The beatings and thrashings continued as George Mason, James Monroe, and 66 other early Americans unleashed their anger on the terrorist Leader.

As al-Zarqawi lay bleeding profusely and in excruciating pain, an Angel appeared.

Al- Zarqawi wept and with blood in his teeth said, “This is not what you promised me…”

The Angel replied softly, “I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you in Heaven. What did you think I said?”

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Maxine knows Best.
March 17th, 2010 at 9:20am

We all know there are people who have a solution to everything.  Maxine knows Best.

 Everyone concentrates on the problems we are having in our country lately,  

  • illegal immigration,
  • hurricane recovery,
  • alligators attacking people in Florida……

Its a win,win situation…

  •  Dig a moat across the length of the Mexican border,
  • send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the levees
  • AND put all the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border…..

Job done !!!

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WALMART VS THE MORONS!!!!!!!!!!
March 16th, 2010 at 1:07pm

 

 

1 . Americans spend $36,000,000 at Wal-Mart Every hour of every day.

2.. This works out to $20,928 profit every minute!

3. Wal-Mart will sell more from January 1 to St. Patrick’s Day (March 17th) than Target sells all year.

4. Wal-Mart is bigger than Home Depot + Kroger + Target + Sears + Costco + K-Mart combined.

5. Wal-Mart employs 1.6 million people and is the largest private Employer, and most speak English.

6. Wal-Mart is the largest company in the history of the World.

7. Wal-Mart now sells more food than Kroger & Safeway combined, and keep in mind they did this in only 15 years.

8. During this same period, 31 supermarket chains sought bankruptcy.

9. Wal-Mart now sells more food than any other store in the world.

10. Wal-Mart has approx 3,900 stores in the USA of which 1,906 are Super Centers; this is 1,000 more than it had 5 Years ago.

11. This year 7.2 billion different purchasing experiences will occur At a Wal-Mart store. (Earth’s population is approximately 6.5 Billion.)

12. 90% of all Americans live within 15 miles of a Wal-Mart.

You may think that I am complaining, but I am really laying the ground work for suggesting that MAYBE we should hire the guys who run Wal-Mart to Fix the economy.
This should be read and understood by all Americans

Democrats, Republicans, EVERYONE!!
 

To all 535 voting members of the Legislature,

 It is now official you are ALL  morons:

  • The U.S. Post Service was established in 1775. You have had 234 years to get it right and it is broke.
  • Social Security was established in 1935. You have had 74 years to get it right and it is broke.
  • Fannie Mae was established in 1938. You have had 71 years to get it right and it is broke.
  • War on Poverty started in 1964. You have had 45 years to get it right; $1 trillion of our money is confiscated each year and transferred to “the poor” and they only want more.
  • Medicare and Medicaid were established in 1965. You have had 44 years to get it right and they are broke.
  • Freddie Mac was established in 1970. You have had 39 years to get it right and it is broke.
  • The Department of Energy was created in 1977 to lessen our dependence on foreign oil. It has ballooned to 16,000 employees with a budget of $24 billion a year and we import more oil than ever before. You had 32 years to get it right and it is an abysmal failure.

You have FAILED in every “government service” you have shoved down our throats while overspending our tax dollars

 
   
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JOE LEGAL vs. JOE ILLEGAL
March 12th, 2010 at 10:18am

You have two families: “Joe Legal” and “Joe Illegal”. 

CONCERNED_tnBoth families have two parents, two children, and live in California .

Joe Legal works in construction, has a Social Security Number and makes $25.00 per hour with taxes deducted.

Joe Illegal also works in construction, has NO Social Security Number, and gets paid $15.00 cash “under the table”.

Ready? Now pay attention…

Joe Legal: $25.00 per hour x 40 hours = $1000.00 per week, or $52,000.00 per year. Now take 30% away for state and federal tax; Joe Legal now has $31,231.00.

Joe Illegal: $15.00 per hour x 40 hours = $600.00 per week, or $31,200.00 per year. Jose Illegal pays no taxes. Joe Illegal now has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays medical and dental insurance with limited coverage for his family at $600.00 per month, or $7,200.00 per year. Joe Legal now
has $24,031.00.

Joe Illegal has full medical and dental coverage through the state and local clinics at a cost of $0.00 per year. Joe Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal makes too much money and is not eligible for food stamps or welfare. Joe Legal pays $500.00 per month for food, or $6,000.00 per
year. Joe Legal now has $18,031.00.

Joe Illegal has no documented income and is eligible for food stamps and welfare. Jose Illegal still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays rent of $1,200.00 per month, or $14,400.00 per year. Joe Legal now has $9,631.00.

Joe Illegal receives a $500.00 per month federal rent subsidy. Joe Illegal pays out that $500.00 per month, or $6,000.00 per year. Joe Illegal still has $ 31,200.00.

Joe Legal pays $200.00 per month, or $2,400.00 for insurance. Joe Legal now has $7,231.00.

Joe Illegal says, “We don’t need no stinkin’ insurance!” and still has $31,200.00.

Joe Legal has to make his $7,231.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, etc.

Joe Illegal has to make his $31,200.00 stretch to pay utilities, gasoline, and what he sends out of the country every month.

Joe Legal now works overtime on Saturdays or gets a part time job after work.

Jose Illegal has nights and weekends off to enjoy with his family.

Joe Legal’s and Joe Illegal’s children both attend the same school. Joe Legal pays for his children’s lunches while Joe Illegal’s children get
a government sponsored lunch. Joe Illegal’s children have an after school ESL program. Joe Legal’s children go home.

Joe Legal and Joe Illegal both enjoy the same police and fire services, but Joe paid for them and Joe did not pay.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE????

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