I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1,800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.
 
I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. 

I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.
 
That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.
 
My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.
 
The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [Blue tooth but it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. 

I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.
 
I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.  Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, “Re-cal-cu-lating.” 

You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me.  She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.
 
When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me (after 50+ years I certainly hope so).
 
To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven’t figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have to run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings. 

It was a lot easier when it was connected to a cord (for the kids out there reading this, yes, there used to be a cord attached to the phone - and we only had one phone in the house!  I won’t even go into “party lines” but older folks know what I’m talking about).
 
The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on  something themselves but this sudden “Paper or Plastic?” every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.  

I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them in with me. Now, I toss it back to them. When they ask me, “Paper or Plastic?”  I just say, “Doesn’t matter to me. I am bi-sacksual.”
 
 Then it’s their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break  in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. 

 As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.

 One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some senior  is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”
 
 Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior Gene walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked,

“What are you sellin’ here?”

One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

 Without skipping a beat, Gene said, “You’re doing well. Only two left!!”

Seniors — don’t mess with them, they’ve been around!

A group of 40 years old guys discuss where they should meet for dinner.

Finally they agree to meet at the Kelley’s Restaurant because the waitresses have low cut blouses and nice breasts.

10 years later at age 50, the group agrees to meet at Kelley’s because the food is good and the wine selection is excellent.

20 years later at age 60, the group agrees to meet at Kelley’s because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

30 years later at age 70, the group agrees to meet at Kelley’s because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they have an elevator.

40 years later at age 80, the group agrees to meet at Kelley’s because they have never been there before.