April 1st, 2013 at 10:10am
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1. Where there’s a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound; this is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting in in a fruit salad.
7. I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted a paycheck.
9. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
10. You do not need a parachute to skydive; you only need a parachute to skydive twice.
11. I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.
12. You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
13. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
14. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.
15. When temped to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department usually used water.